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The Stupidest News Stories of 2009 (a Song)

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In which Hank, Rhett and Link sing a song about the stupidest news stories of 2009. Including, but not limited to, drug scandals, sex scandals, balloon boys, pig epidemics, and more.

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Our Lyric Sheet (not exact...but it'll give you an idea)

RHETT&Link;

C
Hank do you remember when all of georgia fled
F
that flood that left thousands homeless and seven dead
G
But while those people drowned and their houses went adrift
G C
The news was about kanye west....and taylor swift

HANK
Indeed rhett&link;, I see the news media failin
every time anyone mentions...sarah palin
They dispatch a dozen camera crews every time she poos
While I can't escape the feeling she's just not news

RHETT&Link;
And swine flu, while a killer, got more love than it needed
Killing 4,000 people while the normal flu, unheeded
Kills 60,000 people year in and year out
People like to have something to freak out about

HANK
But then there was that michael phelps marijuana scandal
Just one picture and the media flew off their handle
I mean, he did the exact same thing as our last three presidents
something about our priorities here does not make sense

ALL
F C
So Many important things happened this year friend
G C
Iran's Election and Mass Recession and Obama sworn in
F C
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
G C
R&L;: And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Hank: yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.

HANK
I'm not sure if crappy news gets any better than
The scandals of Tiger Woods and David Letterman
I mean, it turns out rich guys cheat on their wives
That wasn't news in the year twenty five

LINK&Rhett;
And one of the biggest stories of the whole entire year
Is that Susan Boyle could sing and bring an audience to tears
With all the pretty people auto-tuned, I think we forgot
You don't have to be hot to The talent Brittain's got

HANK
And I still laugh any time I see some poor braggart
Proudly holding up a sign proclaiming he's a tea bagger
Besides any confusion about the american revolution
I think no matter what they mean the news was an illusion

ALL
So Many important things happened this year friend
Iran's Election and Mass Recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
Hank: And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
R&L;: yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.

HANK - But I think we three can all agree, the biggest load of po
R&L; - Was that balloon boy falcon who was not in the balloon
HANK - Just another year where we kept the world alive
R&L; - We didnt pay attention but we somehow didn't die
ALL
So Many important things happened this year friend
Iran's Election and Mass Recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
All - And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
All - yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.
All - But since they're still reporting it....we just might be the only ones.