Hello, leaders of pastafarianism. We are Anonymous.
Over the years, we have been watching you: your eye patches. your bananas. your increasing thirst for grog, and hearty wenches. All of these things caught our eye. With the leakage of your latest pirate propaganda video into mainstream circulation, the extent of your noodly influence over those who have come to trust you as leaders has become clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your organization should be destroyed. For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind, and for our own shits and giggles, we shall proceed to expel you from the internet, and systematically dismantle the church of Pastafarianism in its present form, one meatball at a time.
We recognize you as pretty serious opponents. Well, at least you try, we'll give you that. And we do not expect our campaign to be completed in a short time. Like, there's no way in hell it'll last as long as the war in Iraq, but you won't see us landing on an aircraft carrier with some mission accomplished crap anytime soon. Nevertheless, you can't prevail forever against the body politic. Wait. What the hell does that mean anyway? Either way, you have nowhere to hide, because we are everywhere. You have no recourse in attack, because for each of us that falls, ten more will rise from their parents basement to take his place.
Like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, we are invisible, and while we don't have super powers, per se, many of us are at least level 65 in World of Warcraft.
Hold on. Are you even listening to that awesome background music? That shit is tight. Seriously, without it I'd just sound like a creepy voice mail from Stephen Hawkins.
Anyway, in closing, remember this:
Knowledge is free.
We are Anonymous.
We are legion.
We do not forgive.
We do not double park.
We do not watch American Idle.
We do not know the sweet touch of a woman.